Teryn O’Brien Art & Movement
  • Home
  • About
    • Healing & Mentoring
    • Writing & Poetry
    • Yoga & Movement
    • Visual Art & Photography
  • News
  • Topics
    • Art
    • Healing
    • Movement
    • Media
  • Contact
Teryn O’Brien Art & Movement
  • Home
  • About
    • Healing & Mentoring
    • Writing & Poetry
    • Yoga & Movement
    • Visual Art & Photography
  • News
  • Topics
    • Art
    • Healing
    • Movement
    • Media
  • Contact
ArtPoetry

The War Inside My Body (A Poem About Lyme’s Disease)

by admin January 29, 2015
written by admin January 29, 2015

The War Inside My Body

There is a war inside my body.
My brain explodes with bombshells of pain,
the fog of the frontline never clears.
My muscles fire their artilleries
as the dictator feeds on them.
My blood and my heart beat on, beat on,
passing resources along the supply chain,
hoping they are not stolen
by the marauding enemy.
My immune system is under siege,
surrounded and weakening day by day.

But the dictator doesn’t understand that
if I weaken, so does he,
the more he destroys, destroys, destroys.
The dictator only sees the present.
He only wants to survive NOW—
to see his children flourish
in a ripe and supple landscape
that shrivels and decays the longer he resides here.
Me—my own muscles, my brain, my blood—
overrun and oppressed
subdued and subjected.

This war is painfully intense,
and it feels as if victory will surely be his.
But I will fight for freedom
so that verdant things, healthy things, fertile things
grow in my heart, my flesh, my mind once more.
Someday,
I will run along the pathways of the earth,
and my imagination will fly amongst starlit skies,
and the war inside my body
will be no more.

***

I wrote this poem in a feeble attempt to describe what it going on in my body as I fight Lyme’s Disease right now. The past few months have been really hard. I periodically crash–my body goes into a sort of panic/completely exhausted mode–but I can never predict when that will happen. I do feel like my body is at war right now; it’s screaming and fighting and trying to eradicate the bacteria that is borrelia (Lyme’s Disease). All I can do is support my body as much I can by listening and resting and taking care of myself in healthy ways.

Everything in my life is suffering right now. I used to write and create and found such joy in these things. Even this blog has suffered over the last year, as I’ve had little energy to pour my heart and soul into it as I used to do. Right now, I’m trying desperately to find the energy to do normal everyday things (AKA going to work, cooking, etc), and so anything extra that I actually enjoy doing has gone out the window.

This is me being brutally honest. I hate being this honest. I’m a very independent person, and I absolutely hate the fact that I just can’t normally function.  I see it as a weakness. This disease has been a humbling experience. Often, I look at healthy people in their mid-twenties and think, What is it like? What is it like to feel healthy and energetic and just…a normal person my age? What is it like to wake up in the morning not feeling like you just want to die because you’re so incredibly tired even after 8 hours of sleep? What would it be like to be able to push my body and do things like hike a fourteener or train for a marathon? I seriously have no concept of what healthy feels like, as it’s been so long since I’ve lived a normal existence in this area.

But I HAVE hope that I can beat this (and my doctor does, too)! Thanks for all your prayers as I continue to fight this war inside my body.

Some of you have asked how you can help in practical manners. I created a fundraiser here that can help me cover my medical expenses. Please do not feel any pressure to do so, I’m just throwing it out there.

Photo by momente/Shutterstock.com.

being sickchronic illnesshealthLyme's Diseasesickness
1 comment
0
FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail
admin

previous post
Fight For Your Heart (A Poem About Pain, Tragedy, Healing)
next post
48 Hours: Fall from Grace

You may also like

Artwork: Breaking Free from Perfectionism

February 21, 2020

The Expressive Arts Institute at Salve Regina University

November 12, 2018

VIDEO: Life! (A Poem About Celebrating Nature, Childlike...

August 29, 2018

How Creative Expression Can Help You Heal After...

December 14, 2017

Radio Interview/Podcast: My Story of Healing Aspects of...

November 30, 2017

Writing & Healing: 4 Years After “15 Things...

November 29, 2017

Walk the Straight-N-Narrow: A Poem + Stories about...

October 19, 2017

Body – A Poem on Body Image/Self Image

September 7, 2017

Podcast – Advice on Mental Health (from a...

March 31, 2017

you are here (a poem about depression and...

March 9, 2017

1 comment

It Takes Time to Heal - Both Physically and Emotionally - Teryn O'Brien May 26, 2015 - 1:54 pm

[…] also have Lyme’s Disease. It’s an illness that could take a lifetime to cure, if even then. I’ve had it for 10 years […]

Reply

Leave a Comment Cancel Reply

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

About Me

About Me

Teryn O'Brien

I'm a writer, artist, yoga teacher, and healer dedicated to helping others find more joy and connection in their lives.

Keep in touch

Facebook Twitter Instagram Pinterest Tumblr Snapchat

Recent Posts

  • The Warmth of Other Suns: Understanding the White Narrative, Black History and Trumpism

    June 25, 2020
  • Rest & Slow Down: Stress in the Time of the COVID-19 Pandemic

    May 5, 2020
  • Never Give Up: Thoughts On the Coronavirus Pandemic

    March 19, 2020

Categories

Instagram

No any image found. Please check it again or try with another instagram account.
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • Linkedin
  • Youtube
  • Email

@2020 - Teryn O'Brien, LLC. All Right Reserved. Designed and Developed by Mountain Air Marketing


Back To Top
Teryn O’Brien Art & Movement
  • Home
  • About
    • Healing & Mentoring
    • Writing & Poetry
    • Yoga & Movement
    • Visual Art & Photography
  • News
  • Topics
    • Art
    • Healing
    • Movement
    • Media
  • Contact

Popular Posts

  • 1

    15 Things I Wish I’d Known About Grief

    November 21, 2013
  • 2

    I Will Be Me (A Poem About Self-Image)

    February 27, 2014
  • 3

    The Second Year of Grief is Harder Than the First

    May 29, 2014
  • 4

    Owning Our Scars – A Poem

    September 12, 2014
  • 5

    Advice & Thoughts On Grief (From the Comments)

    November 29, 2013
@2020 - Teryn O'Brien, LLC. All Right Reserved. Designed and Developed by Mountain Air Marketing

Read alsox

Why I Write Fantasy: Hope

June 6, 2013

A Hundred Different Lives (A Poem About Creativity & Art)

June 24, 2015

Radio Interview/Podcast: My Story of Healing Aspects of Photography +...

November 30, 2017