Teryn O’Brien Art & Movement
  • Home
  • About
    • Healing & Mentoring
    • Writing & Poetry
    • Yoga & Movement
    • Visual Art & Photography
  • News
  • Topics
    • Art
    • Healing
    • Movement
    • Media
  • Contact
Teryn O’Brien Art & Movement
  • Home
  • About
    • Healing & Mentoring
    • Writing & Poetry
    • Yoga & Movement
    • Visual Art & Photography
  • News
  • Topics
    • Art
    • Healing
    • Movement
    • Media
  • Contact
ArtHealingPoetry

I Will Be Me (A Poem About Self-Image)

by admin February 27, 2014
written by admin February 27, 2014

Note: See an updated version of this poem, along with a video performance, here.

Growing up, I used to have this image.
An image society placed in my mind,
which grew to consume my entire perception
of what a woman should be.
She was taller,
and She had bigger curves.
She had long, glossy brown-black hair
and big, blue eyes.

And She could flirt.
She was confident that she was attractive.
She did whatever She wanted with whomever She wished,
and She didn’t give a damn.
All the boys liked her.

And She was loud.
She was not quiet at all.
In fact, She was extremely extroverted.
She walked into a room, and She laughed and smiled,
and She was funny.
and She wasn’t smart–oh no!–
She didn’t think about things too much.
She didn’t speak her mind or share her opinion.
She was always silly and fun and carefree.

And She never had any problems.
And She never shed any tears.
And everyone loved her.

***

And I loved her,
She, this image of who I should be.
I loved her.
I envied her.

Because in every way She was the opposite of me.

I, who was often quiet,
and not-very-popular,
I, who froze up in a room of strangers.
I, who wasn’t funny at all.
I was awkward and tongue-tied.
And I wasn’t extroverted.
I could spend hours alone writing or drawing or reading,
and a crowd full of people often felt like hell.

And I was broken.
And I cried sometimes.
And I was hurting.

Because I was not She.
She, the image of who I thought I should be.
Because no one loves someone like me.

***

Years passed, and I began to grow up.
So many people told me who I should be.
So many people told me I should be She.
And they laughed, and they scorned,
And I tried so hard to be what they wanted of me.

I lost myself,
Time and and time again.
It was like drowning–
only whenever I thought I was really going under,
I came back to the surface.

Lots of things happened.
Bad things and good things.
Heartbreak and depression and loneliness.
Death.

But through all the hardness, I began to live.
And through all the darkness, I began to see.
I cried and cried,
I felt like I was dying,
But in the tears, I finally found Me.

***
And one day not so long ago,
I looked at myself in the mirror,
and I thought:

I do not have to be She,
The image society tells me I should be.
The unattainable wish and incomparable dream
of a woman who doesn’t exist.

I will be a real woman.
A living, breathing human being.

I, who am slender and small.
I, who’ve always liked short hair better than long.
I, who am not loud or funny.
I, who am smart and stubborn and strong.

I will often be quiet and think,
and I will see things that others don’t see.
I will look at people and love them,
even when they so quickly forget me.

I will write and I will create,
I will run through the mountains,
And sing in the valleys.

Sometimes, I will cry.
And I will always be broken.
But I will be real.

I will live.

I will be strange and wild, winsome and free.
I won’t let others tell me who I should be.
And I won’t let the image of She haunt me.

I will be strong.
I will be courageous.

I will be Me.
Me, who is so much more than She.

 

Photo by Adobe Stock/Anna Om

genderGodidentitymedia and beautymedia and womenreligionself esteemself imagespiritualitywoman
32 comments
0
FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail
admin

previous post
15 Things I Wish I’d Known About Grief
next post
Dry: A Poem About Weariness & Loss of Passion

You may also like

The Warmth of Other Suns: Understanding the White...

June 25, 2020

Never Give Up: Thoughts On the Coronavirus Pandemic

March 19, 2020

Artwork: Breaking Free from Perfectionism

February 21, 2020

The Expressive Arts Institute at Salve Regina University

November 12, 2018

Don’t Let Your Mind Bully Your Body

October 12, 2018

VIDEO: Life! (A Poem About Celebrating Nature, Childlike...

August 29, 2018

Your Body has THREE Brains

August 12, 2018

A Grounding Meditation for Relieving Stressful, Overwhelming Thoughts

June 17, 2018

How the Breath of Yoga Helps the Nervous...

May 21, 2018

Yoga is Reconnecting with Your Mind, Body, Emotions

May 17, 2018

32 comments

Boze Herrington February 27, 2014 - 6:37 am

Wow!! Teryn, this is wonderful.

Reply
Teryn O'Brien February 27, 2014 - 8:44 am

Thanks, Boze!

Reply
JD Blom February 27, 2014 - 8:30 am

Reblogged this on A DEVOTED LIFE.

Reply
yvonne1wilson February 27, 2014 - 8:50 am

This is absolutely beautiful, uplifting and inspiring. I am happy to have discovered your blog. Blessings!

Reply
Teryn O'Brien February 27, 2014 - 9:09 am

Thanks so much, Yvonne! I look forward to reading your blog as well!

Reply
yvonne1wilson February 27, 2014 - 8:52 am

Reblogged this on Empowerment Moments Blog.

Reply
Abinash Biswal February 27, 2014 - 9:02 am

Amazing one…..very encouraging…..
Thanks for sharing…..

Reply
Teryn O'Brien February 27, 2014 - 9:16 am

Thank you, Abinash. I’m so glad it could encourage you.

Reply
I Will Be Me (A Poem About Self-Image) | Full Of Life, Now.... February 27, 2014 - 9:07 am

[…] I Will Be Me (A Poem About Self-Image). […]

Reply
abcinsc February 27, 2014 - 9:16 am

There is only one you. If you are not you, who will be? The world would be the poorer for it, if you are not you.

Reply
Teryn O'Brien February 27, 2014 - 10:32 am

Very, very true. If only we could all learn this much sooner in life. The world would be a much better place!

Reply
Bev Place Walkling February 27, 2014 - 9:52 am

This is so beautiful! I am a Girl Guide leader and we have been talking about what beauty is with them this past week. I think we need to read them your poem!

Reply
Teryn O'Brien February 27, 2014 - 10:40 am

Please do read it to your group! I’m so glad my writing could reach some younger girls who might learn to embrace themselves far sooner than I did! Thanks for the comment. 🙂

Reply
Rebeca Jones February 27, 2014 - 9:59 am

Wow. This is incredibly powerful. This part in particular really resonates with me.

“I will often be quiet and think,
and I will see things that others don’t see.
I will look at people and love them,
even when they so quickly forget me.

I will write and I will create,
I will run through the mountains,
And sing in the valleys.

Sometimes, I will cry.
And I will always be broken.
But I will be real.”

By the grace of Jesus I will one day fully embrace this in myself. I am not quite there yet, but am on the road. Thank you for putting into words the struggles many of us feel. Grace and peace to you!

Reply
Teryn O'Brien February 27, 2014 - 10:41 am

We are all on the journey. I’ve come a long way, but it’s always a process. I pray God will continue to heal and free you.

Reply
Natalie Trust February 27, 2014 - 10:07 am

Gorgeous. This will sit with me today.

Reply
Teryn O'Brien February 27, 2014 - 10:41 am

Thanks, Natalie!

Reply
Joy Aletheia Stevens February 27, 2014 - 11:24 am

I love this! I identify with it so much! Only the image in my mind was always “petite” and I’m tall and large boned, “petite” was feminine… ‘tall” was athletic, which I am not…. at all… we all somehow get this image in our heads of what society would want us to be.

Reply
Teryn O'Brien February 27, 2014 - 11:55 am

Yes, I think the image is different for every person. But it’s always NOT who we are, isn’t it?

Reply
Nancy Ruegg February 27, 2014 - 4:42 pm

What a delight to see you embracing the beautiful you that always was, but you could not see! (No, we’ve never met! But I feel your frustration of not measuring up to an impossible ideal, because I’ve done the same!) Thank you for your open, honest, thoughtful expression.

Reply
Teryn O'Brien February 28, 2014 - 8:35 am

I’m so glad you liked it, Nancy! It has indeed been a struggle, but I’m glad I can write about it now and see so much healing in my life.

Reply
Anna Waldherr February 27, 2014 - 7:13 pm

Bravo!

Reply
Teryn O'Brien February 28, 2014 - 8:34 am

Why thank you! 🙂

Reply
Jennifer February 27, 2014 - 9:31 pm

This. This is such a wonderful piece! And I read it…and feel for you…and feel *with* you! Thank you so much for sharing your heart. So glad I got to read it.

Reply
gapark February 28, 2014 - 2:07 pm

Beautiful. So glad I found your blog. Huzzah for the blogosphere that brings people together!

Reply
Lisa Rosier March 2, 2014 - 5:44 am

Fantastic – “Me – who is much more than She.” This is powerful.

Reply
Teryn’s New Website (and My 10 Favorite Posts on Identity Renewed) | thetalkingllama March 17, 2014 - 1:44 am

[…] 9. I Will Be Me (A Poem About Self-Image) […]

Reply
What Is A Real Friend? | Real Friends September 3, 2015 - 2:07 am

[…] I Will Be Me (A Poem About Self-Image) By Terry O’Brien […]

Reply
Allie Saunders August 31, 2017 - 7:20 pm

Hey Teryn this piece is amazing and I connect with it on such a deep level… I was wondering if I had your permission to perform it in an upcoming competition for my Forensics team? I would be honored to perform it and give my all to do it justice.

Allie S.

Reply
Teryn O'Brien September 3, 2017 - 1:01 pm

Why yes, of course! I’d love to the see the performance recorded if you’re able. Also, check out the performance I did myself: http://www.terynobrien.com/2016/03/10/4248/. Might give you a little inspiration. Or not. 🙂

Reply
Alexandra Georgieva April 16, 2018 - 1:23 am

Hello Teryn! I loved your poem and I was able to relate to it on a very deep level. Can I have your permission to perform it an upcoming speech and debate tournament? I will give you credit where it is due. Thank you!

Alex G.

Reply
KYBEAR April 23, 2018 - 12:42 pm

Thanks this is very helpful for a project

Reply

Leave a Comment Cancel Reply

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

About Me

About Me

Teryn O'Brien

I'm a writer, artist, yoga teacher, and healer dedicated to helping others find more joy and connection in their lives.

Keep in touch

Facebook Twitter Instagram Pinterest Tumblr Snapchat

Recent Posts

  • The Warmth of Other Suns: Understanding the White Narrative, Black History and Trumpism

    June 25, 2020
  • Rest & Slow Down: Stress in the Time of the COVID-19 Pandemic

    May 5, 2020
  • Never Give Up: Thoughts On the Coronavirus Pandemic

    March 19, 2020

Categories

Instagram

No any image found. Please check it again or try with another instagram account.
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • Linkedin
  • Youtube
  • Email

@2020 - Teryn O'Brien, LLC. All Right Reserved. Designed and Developed by Mountain Air Marketing


Back To Top
Teryn O’Brien Art & Movement
  • Home
  • About
    • Healing & Mentoring
    • Writing & Poetry
    • Yoga & Movement
    • Visual Art & Photography
  • News
  • Topics
    • Art
    • Healing
    • Movement
    • Media
  • Contact

Popular Posts

  • 1

    15 Things I Wish I’d Known About Grief

    November 21, 2013
  • 2

    I Will Be Me (A Poem About Self-Image)

    February 27, 2014
  • 3

    Walk the Straight-N-Narrow: A Poem + Stories about Spiritual Abuse

    October 19, 2017
  • 4

    Owning Our Scars – A Poem

    September 12, 2014
  • 5

    How Creative Expression Can Help You Heal After Trauma and Loss

    December 14, 2017
@2020 - Teryn O'Brien, LLC. All Right Reserved. Designed and Developed by Mountain Air Marketing

Read alsox

so much darkness (a poem about grief)

June 20, 2015

Dry: A Poem About Weariness & Loss of Passion

May 6, 2014

Don’t Let Your Mind Bully Your Body

October 12, 2018